Surreal

Surreal. That is the only word I have for this past weekend, because this past weekend I attended the funeral of my younger cousin, Ben. Surely, this past weekend did not actually happen.

Unfortunately, it did.

I have felt many emotions toward God, but never the anger I felt last week. I have never been so angry. Angry that He took such a lively, loving, giving, smart, talented, and wonderful 20 year old. Angry that my aunt and uncle lost their son, that my cousin lost his brother. Angry that I grew up so far away from my family, angry that my family had been robbed of any future times with Ben. I was angry.

In a moment of Grace, God dispelled my anger and replaced it with thankfulness for the times I have had with Ben, and that the knowledge that I will see him again.

And so, somehow, I am thankful.